Online BDSM Dating
Years ago, when I led a more conventional life and I worked in export sales, I befriended a man twice my age who worked in another department. There was nothing weird between us even though our friendship raised many eyebrows at the office, as he could have been my father.
Despite the fact that we seemed quite different, we had both received the same restrictive Catholic education. We reminisced about all the things we had been taught and rejected. Instead of complaining about our repressive religious backgrounds, however, we talked about it as if it was an aphrodisiac.
Despite my cdonventional work life at the time, my sex life was varied, fun and naughty. I needed someone to listen to my conquests as I felt as though I was reliving the experience just when I recounted the events. He became my confidante and custodian of my secrets. I must confess that I often forgot that he was a man with red-blooded desires as I noticed him stir in his chair with discomfort a few times, but I just didn’t care.
Up until this point, he was a happily married man. And faithful, too. But listening to my stories that were mainly related to femdom, it made him curious and he began to get a thirst for discovering new bodies, and for domination in particular.
He asked me for some tips about online dating, that I gladly gave. He signed up to a couple of websites, and after chatting with some other users, and even meeting a couple of women in person, soon enough he considered it to be a waste of time. This was due to the fact that he was always 100% honest about his marital status. He wasn’t looking for an affair. He was happy at home. He just wanted to have sex, feel young again. He wasn’t looking for an emotional affair or complications of any sort.
Many of the women he was chatting to were middle-aged divorcees. As soon as he mentioned his marital status, the messages ceased to arrive. This only made him more frustrated. It seemed clear that only way to overcome this rejection was to try BDSM dating only and connect with someone based on sexual tastes instead. A place where there would be no moral judgement or unrealistic expectations. He did just that and he had to think of a kinky nickname that reflected his dominant desires. The irony was, that he actually had no experience apart from watching kinky videos and listening to my stories.
I volunteered to teach him about spanking and bondage if he was willing to take fetish photos of me for my website, which was merely a side project at the time. I taught him all I knew, without it getting explicit between us. Then, he signed up to a couple of BDSM sites. The vibe couldn’t have been more different. Here, no one cared about his marital status. It was just about connecting with like-minded individuals, sharing a fantasy, and maybe, a moment. Oftentimes, it wasn’t about conventional sex, it was more about indulging in a role play fantasy instead. The kind of thing that might scare someone off on a first date on a more conventional dating site, here, on a BDSM dating site, his fantasies would be appreciated and understood.
He chatted to a few potential submissives and even met a couple of them in person. Interestingly, a couple of them were married, but this wasn’t an obstacle. On the contrary! It gave them a certain complicity, connection, and more importantly, a mutual understanding of each other’s situations and desires.
He met a woman who became his slave for over 2 years. She was also married, with grown-up children and eager to have some fun and be dominated by a hot-blooded male. Her husband hadn’t looked at her with desire in years, apparently. She was a housewife with lots of time on her hands and a very active imagination. They met once a month in a hotel, where they indulged in BDSM fantasies where he was always the top.
Funnily enough, during our conversations by the coffee machine at work, our roles reversed and it was him who was telling me all about his kinky sexploits and not the other way around. Naturally, there were times when I did wonder if I had been a good influence on him. But when I saw how alive his eyes were when he was recounting his endeavours, and how his self-confidence increased, I was proud to have been a stepping stone in his path to pleasure.